Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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