Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
