this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
