No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
