He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
