I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
