five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
