very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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