How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
