we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
