I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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