She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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