Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
