i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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