Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
