my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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