So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
