Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
