Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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