I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
