I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
