Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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