i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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