Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
