why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
