I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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