omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm passing your future prison.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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