i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
