you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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