Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We just shotgunned beers for America
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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