i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
