you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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