Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
