paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
