You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
