i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
