we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
