that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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