so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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