I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
