Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
