Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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