I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
