is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
