i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
