i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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