I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
