im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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