And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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