New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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