are you still at the devil's house?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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